william cody maher - works-dialogues

W I L L I A M C O D Y M A H E R

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DIALOGUES

	WHY THIS ROAD? Cop You got out of the car? Suspect Yes, I did sir Cop You don't know why you got out of the car? Suspect No I don't sir Cop You must have seen movies or police shows where a police officer stands outside of his car with his lights flashing. What does the suspect do? Suspect He rolls down his window and waits for the police officer to tell him what to do Cop That's right. So, why did you get out of the car? Suspect I wasn't thinking. I was tired. My wife and I were hungry Cop You carrying a gun? Suspect I'm a tourist Cop Tourists don't carry guns, is that right? Suspect I don't know officer Cop You been drinkin? Suspect Coke Cop Where you from? Suspect Germany Cop I mean, originally Suspect San Francisco Cop Do people in San Francisco get out of their car when they are stopped by the police? Suspect I wasn't stopped sir. We were just sitting here Cop Why this road? Suspect Like I said My wife and I were tired. Hungry. We stopped at Walmarts and bought a chicken. You wanna see it? Cop I know what a chicken looks like. Why this road? Suspect It just looked peaceful Cop There are a lot of peaceful places around here. Rest stops with scenic views, parks,lakes parking lots, places where people can rest, eat a chicken, why here? Suspect Like I said, it just felt like a quiet place Cop Now, if you were living in that house over there and you saw somebody pull up in a big car with tinted glass and plant their ass in front of your face, a car you never saw before, and that car just stayed there what would you think? Suspect I don't know if I would think anything Cop You would think something, you would say, honey you come here for a minute, there is a big car parked outside that I have never seen before and it's been there for sometime and i can't see who it is cause of the sun and the tinted glass...that's what you'd think, wouldn't you? Suspect I don't know Cop Honey, you'd say, maybe we ought to call the police. don't you think? Suspect Maybe they were just looking at a map, I'd think, maybe they were lost, maybe they needed help, i might even go outside and ask them if i can be of any assistance Cop You forget what country we're in. They would think, that you could be burglars, or rapists, or murderers or all three. What are you doin here anyway? Suspect Doin? We not doin nothing. My wife and i... like i say... we're just tourists, we just wanted to come and visit the South Cop Why? Suspect Why? I mean, just to see what things look like, my wife never been here before Cop With what looks like? Suspect I don't know. Cotton fields, Magnolia trees, Sugar cane...Confederate graveyards...you know, meet the people Cop Dead people? Suspect No sir, just people livin around here? Cop What's so special about people here that you can't find where you come from? Suspect Nothing special officer, just friendly people Cop Where you folks coming from today? Suspect We were over at the Rocket Center in Huntersville, and like I say, we're just traveling around Cop Why rockets? Suspect I don't know what you mean? Cop I am asking you what your interest in rockets is? Suspect I always was interested in space and well I.. Cop Do you believe in God? Suspect I guess I don't know Cop You guess what? Suspect I don't know Cop So, your an atheist? Suspect I didn't say that Cop So, after visiting rockets you thought you'd pull over in front of somebody's house. Somebody you don't know from Adam, and sit there like you owned the place throwin chicken bones out the window. Suspect We wasn't thinking I guess, officer, we were too tired to think, to drive, that's why we pulled over Cop Why this road? You could have parked in the parking lot in Wallmart. That's why they have parking lots. So people don't park on other peoples property. I want to know why this road? Suspect It could have been any road officer, like I said Cop It isn't just any road. It happens to be this road. (spits blood and wipes it on his sleeve) Cop You been drinking Suspect No, sir Cop Let me see if I got this right...you came all the way from Germany to visit us at the Rocket center, and see the cotton fields and the sugar cane and talk to the people. Is that right? Suspect Yes sir Cop You still haven't answered my question Suspect What question sir? Cop Why this road? Miss, did I tell you to get out of the car. Now, put your hands up, the both of you Suspect She's from Germany, she don't know what's going on here Cop She can speak English alright. I know they learn that over there. We taught them. My father told me. We taught them a lot of things. Their women I mean. Suspect Listen officer, my wife and I just want to go on driving today and see the countryside Woman We can show you the chicken? Cop I told you I know what a godammed chicken looks like Suspect Is there anything we can do? Can give? Cop You trying to bribe me? Is that what you're trying to do. Do they bribe police officers in Germany? What should I do now? Suspect I don't know Cop If you were in my position what would you do? Suspect I'd let us go. We didn't do nothing. We didn't see nothing Cop What do you mean? Suspect I don't mean nothing Cop First you don't know nothin then you don't mean nothing and didn't see nothin. I asked you what you saw. You were sneaking around on this property. Is that right? Suspect No sir Cop You looked through the window and what did you see? Suspect I told you Cop You told me nothing. You saw me in bed with another mans wife is what you saw? Suspect Sir, I don't know what's wrong here, and it's none of my business Cop I said WHY THIS ROAD...OF ALL THE GODAMMED ROADS IN THIS COUNTRY... Suspect All we wanted to do was have something to eat and to take a rest Cop You didn't think about the consequences? Woman What consequences officer? Cop About your actions? Woman What actions? Cop All kinds of things happen inside cars. A lot of things that shouldn't be happening. Plans are made in cars. Criminal activity takes place in cars. Indecent behavior. Is that what you were engaging in Miss? Woman We were eating a chicken. I don't know how indecent that is Cop You always drive around looking like that? Woman Looking like what? Cop Wearin next to nothin? Woman It's 40 degrees in the shade officer. Cop You carrying a gun Miss? Woman No sir Cop Now, I'm going to ask you one more time WHY THIS ROAD?
	GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS... A How long is it going to take to drain that pond private ? B Well sir, it’s really not a pond..I mean it’s more the size of a lake A I don’t care if it’s the size of an ocean..I want that thing drained dry before the labour day weekend B There’s another problem here sir that has recently surfaced A I don’t care if godzilla surfaces..I want that body of water the hell out of here if you have to suck it up with a godamned vacumn cleaner B The problem sir is we have these nature people out here sniffing around and they have some lawyers with them and apparently you just can’t go around emptying things or filling things or anything for that matter without a permit you see this is some kind of wild life reserve and is protected by an agency in Washington A I am under direct order from Homeland Securites to have this pond searched and seized...do you understand me private B What are we going to do with the wild life sir ? A There’s enough surrounding area around here...they can just vanish into it... B Excuse me sir..the animals and insects birds and things ah would not be able to survive in gated communities sir A Then they don’t survive...it’s natural selection..it’s not our business to see that animals do or do not survive..I am here to find something and I am going to get to the bottom of it...by labor day weekend this hole is going to be so dry we could make a parking lot out of it.. I will get to the depths of this if I have to drain the coffers of this state we will not leave an inch of that body of water untouched...do we understand each other... B Yes sir A if there is something down there causing the trouble we will find it...if it is breathing or if it is just a sniveling microbe if it has back teeth or just a collection of mutating blood cells if it is microscopic or extra terrestrial we will lay our hands on this threat and we will destroy it. we will not stop until we have isolated whatever it is that transported this thing and if it is traveling in flies or birds or dogs or people or if it is blowing in the wind we will nail it down we will erase if from the face of the earth.. we are the greatest nation in the world private and we won’t have it...not on our property..not at this time... we will not let a stinking fish hole order our existence and spread fear B There are people sir that believe it was that incident some years ago where hundreds of bodies de composed and leaked into the water supply...then there was that incident with prarie dogs and then in chinatown that outbreak..and over in bleakville mississipi when they found that dead gambia rat....Somehow whatever it was started rumours multiplying in the pipe system and infiltrating general population sir..and then that white powder..Later discovered as cocaine and not antrax...hard to tell the difference these days...dogs not well enough trained..it could have been wash powder or flee powder for that matter.. A That is only a theory..,I have no time for theories. What are the figures anyway ? B Well, so far sir three people are missing and presumed dead and we have lost to date...217 people looking for them.. A It is an open wound...open wounds cause infections..there is no getting around it...you know what mouth to mouth sucitation is don’t you ? B Yeah, that’s when somebody drowns and they are turning blue and getting stiff and you only have a few seconds to bring them back and you have to put your mouth on theirs even if it’s a man and your a man and you have to suck life back into them A That’s right..and now what we have to do is the opposite..we have to suck the poison out..suck it right out of creation..and we can do it...we are trained...disciplined...I worked all my life for this..my father...he gave his life for this...we will find this killer..and we will destroy it cell for cell...we will obliterate it like we obliterate any enemy..we are a forgiving country private B Yes sir A a proud people B yes sir A But we will not tolerate any further disruption of our well being...do you hear me private B Yes sir A And we are willing to die for what we believe in B Well, I mean... A What did I say private ? B That we are willing to die for what we believe in sir A And what are we going to do private ? B We are going to empty this god damned fish hole...sir A And what else ? B We are going to suck the poison out of this open wound that is now festering everywhere you look sir A And how are we going to do that ? B We are going to do that by mouth to mouth resuscitation sir A And what is that private ? B That is placing your mouth sir against the mouth of an open wound and sucking the poison out of it..sir A And what are we going to do next private ? B We are going to put a parking lot here and a monument...sir A With B A shopping center.. sir A And B We will feel no fear...sir A And we will have no scruples..private B And we will have no scruples sir A And there is no shame B There is no shame sir A And there will be no investigation B There will be no investigation sir A And all evidence will be destroyed B And all evidence will be destroyed sir A And all loved ones will keep quiet B And all loved one will keep quiet sir A In this life and the next B In this life and the next sir A So help me god B So help me god sir A God bless America B God bless America sir A Amen B Amen
	IT'S ME...BABE a...first detective b...second detective w...woman a. Where did you find this one? b. Hiding down by the stadium a. Did she have her papers? b. yes sir a. Were they in order? b. Before we threw them away...yes sir. a. Did you apply force? b. Yes sir...we did a. Did she resist? b. They all do...at first a. And then? b. Then she didn't a. Didn't what? b. Resist. a. And the others? b. Dead...I think a. You think ? b. Well...I can't be one hundred percent sure...but a. How sure? b. 99 percent a. They're dead b. It would appear so a. See anything else? b. Buzzards a. Mans best friend...and? b. Blood a. Anything else? b. Flies a. Makes sense. Anybody see you? b. If they did...they would be dead too a. Good...Have you eaten yet? b. Yes sir...along the way...got a bite a. Did you feed her? b. She refused sir a. Probably wants to try a hunger strike b. I would imagine so...sir a. Did she talk about him? b. No sir...something about an amendment of some kind a. They still pulling that one huh...(contemptible laughter) b. You still get a few that try sir a. No visible scars? b. We do our best sir a. How was the weather out there? b. Unpredictable a. Good...Have you spoken to Fagan? b. He was occupied a. Un-occupy him b. yes sir a. What percentage they getting over there? b. Two for one a. Hot or cold? b. Hot a. Sons of bitches. b. Motherfuckers a. Asslickers b. Whoremongers a. Anything else? b. Cocksuckers a. Good...lets get started b. Yes sir ( Begins by smashing woman in the stomach) w. ( Raises her head with no expression) Babe? b. ( Turns to a.) She's talking in code sir a. Break it b. Yes sir a. Give her an injection. ( Turns to w.) Tell us about Highway 2 w. ( No response) b. ( Looks up at a. a looks back.) a. Say it's Babe b. Hi, it’s me...babe w. (Opens her eyes and looks excited) Babe... b. ( In mocking womans voice) Yes darling...It's me...Babe ( canned laughter from imaginary audience) w. I miss you b. I miss you too...Babe w. Babe... b. Yes...darling w I won't talk b. I know you won't w. I'm scarred stiff Babe b. Me too w. Can you talk? b. I think so w. Then listen...I love you b. I love you too ( Continued laughter) w. Babe... b. What darling? w. What do they want? b. What we have w. But they won't get it b. It belongs to us...Whisper to me once again w. I love you b. I love you too a. (Irritated) It’s me Babe w. Babe a. What darling? w. You won’t talk will you? a. Of course not honey..Lover’s don’t talk w. I know, I’m just afraid a. It’s okay to be afraid w. I know (Two thugs look at one another at a loss for what to think up next) a. Guess what Babe? w. What? a. Everything is going to be different now w. O I hope so a. Remember that morning when we drove down highway 2 w. How can I forget a. We held hands all the way. The road twisting. You were afraid we would go off the cliff..I said it didn’t matter because we were so much in love that we had wings. We would just drift over the ocean w. Darling a. What w. They’re listening a. You’re just imagining w. No, I can feel it. a. I won’t talk w. You don’t have to a. I know w. Babe... a. What? w. I love you a. I love you too w. I know a. Give her another injection
	ANOTHER DAY AT THE OFFICE Subject 1 He appeared in our office dressed in a uniform He was asking us to believe that had had ever fought for anything in his life The uniform didn’t go with the face The jaw seemed to weak to support his story He showed us a scar on his chest and a matching one on his back He said the government was trying to kill him He said they were directing operations from space We threw him out of the office Subject 2 She was blond. That was enough for me but not for my partner He wanted to throw her out right away She had a rip up her nylon stockings that looked like she’d been mauled by a dog A couple of curlers were hanging from what looked like a wig that got stuck in a meat grinding machine Her story didn’t match the seductive look in her eyes She was muttering some story about losing her place somewhere in a mans twisted mind My partner threw out out I gave her a wink Subject 3 He looked as though he’d been hiding under his bed He had a facial twitch and kept running his hands over an open wound that was seeping some brown fluid from his scalp He had a patch over one eye and the one staring back at us reflected no light at all Before we could decide if we would throw him out or not he walked past us and jumped through the window Lucky for us, it was open The last time we had to replace the glass Subject 4 This one was too young and we weren’t in business to face a lawsuit She had a nightmare she couldn’t get out of her mind She kept yelling that she didn’t want to go back My partner offered her the bus fare and gave her some money for something to eat She said they locked the doors after eight I gave her a pinch in the ass at the door but it felt like I was giving her last rites There are two kinds of people in this business you can’t save. People with no money and people who are underage Subject 5 This one was old enough to put his papers in order before the earth opened up beneath his feet and swallowed what was left of him He stared at us like he was seeing double He had a stupid grin as though he knew something we didn’t and when we did it would be too late I thought maybe my zipper was down I looked over at my partner and he thought the same thing What does this old buzzard want I thought I hadn’t seen one this far gone since I could remember He was hard of hearing and kept saying the same thing...that our days were numbered When I asked him to leave he took a seat Once he sat down there was nothing we could do but grab the seat with him in it and throw him down the stairs I looked at my partner and he looked at me and we both laughed and shook our heads It was just another day at the office...